How I Got Published in Modern Love

Twenty years ago, on July 23, 2006, my essay The Semicolon Was Our Blinking Caution Light appeared in the New York Times Modern Love column.

This was the story of how I met the man who would become my husband in my creative writing class at Fairfield University—how we flirted with one another, but we didn’t get romantic until many years later. (He was my student, after all.) By necessity, we took a slow, circuitous path to love. Oh, and it involved a semicolon.

You can read the essay here: The Semicolon Was Our Blinking Caution Light

Over the years, people have asked me about the secret to getting published in the Modern Love column. And so, to celebrate the 20th anniversary, here goes:

1. To begin with, I read the column every Sunday without fail. I studied the essays and thought about what made each one compelling.

2. While my essay was about meeting my husband, it was also a tale of surviving a difficult divorce, the Northridge Earthquake, moving from L.A. to Connecticut. It was also about my mother’s death and cancer and the transformative power of love.

3. I wrote the essay fast and left it a little unpolished, so that it did not sound like some writerly-writer wrote it. It sounded like an ordinary woman with a story to tell wrote it.

4. I opened the original essay with I am kissing my student. I will admit, this line was a bait and switch, because the truth was, by the time Bill and I kissed, he was no longer my student, but he had become a good friend. And he was an adult student, older than me. However, one must never underestimate the power of the first sentence.

5. Finally, I wrote the story from the heart. I didn’t overthink it. And I was brave.

And you are brave.

Creative Friends--you have many stories to tell. Your assignment this week is to think of some interesting (or even puzzling) experiences you’ve had throughout your life. Now, put these stories in a tumbler, shake them up, and then pour them out. See how you’ve created a brand new cocktail—a completely fresh way of looking at your life!

All you have to do next is add a garnish and then serve.

Love, Jamie