My Angel Turns Forty Today

 

I took this photograph of my daughter, Callan Silver, back in 1994 when she was ten years old. We had just moved from Los Angeles to Fairfield, Connecticut. Around this time, she began wearing fairy wings. All the time. 

As you can imagine--in preppy-proper Fairfield County--this was quite the statement.

Still under the influence of her SoCal childhood, steeped in Hollywood and film school, vintage clothing shops—she flitted about, unfettered by all that New England probity. She danced, laughed, and made art.

Her artistic vision could be found everywhere--from our bathroom sinks painted in iridescent nail enamel to the rocks outside our parking lot which she adorned with voluptuous winged angels. And then, there was her directorial debut of CATS—in our basement. She was just ten years old--but, my God--she was a force. 

I knew this from the moment she was born and looked up at me with those wide eyes, and as I held her, dazed and sleep-deprived, the nurse explained to me that babies start off in heaven and before they're born, they look down on Earth and chose who will be their mother—and that, this baby with the fierce expression, the blue-green eyes--well, she chose me.

Never mind the fact, that I was completely ill-equipped to be a mother--and definitely not equipped to be the mother of this powerhouse, this artistic genius, this highly opinionated beauty.

Without money or much guidance and certainly no experience—I did what I could to keep her safe, provide for her to the best of my ability and to try to gently guide her. But mainly, I knew I needed to get out of her way, so that she could fly.

And fly she did! 

 Happy Birthday, dear daughter. Thank you for choosing me to be your to be your mom.

Creative Friends--There will be times in your life when you feel as if you are in way over your head. You will feel confused and overwhelmed. You feel as if you are driving in the dark and there are no sign posts or street lamps lighting your way. Each turn presents you with new challenges and new possibilities. You feel confused and directionless and you believe you are not ready for whatever lies ahead. 

Do not despair. Trust in yourself. Your life is a work of art and it’s in the process of becoming. Let it slowly reveal itself to you. Trust me, your story is unfolding in the way it wants to unfold and while you may feel lost, I am telling you, friends--hang in there because the best is yet to come.

Love,

Jamie