The Emily Effect

 

I've return to Paris after six long years and I have changed, but you know what--Paris has not changed all that much.

And this is despite the fact, that we have offered them a fun-house version of themselves reflected in our very popular confection called Emily in Paris.

During the first year of its release in 2018, my French friends complained about the show, and surprise-surprise--they're still complaining. But truth be told, they wouldn't be French if they didn't complain.  Of course, they are fully aware that it's just a frothy fantasy--just like Sex in the City (no surprise there, since both were created by the one and only Darren Starr)

And yet, I believe that there is more than just froth to the show. In fact, over the last few seasons, Emily in Paris has evolved and the Parisian characters--Cammie, Gabriel, Sylvie, Mindy, Lucas, and Julien have revealed themselves as complicated individuals with interesting inner lives. Consider Lucas who introduces Emily to the notion of existentialism and takes her to see the classic New Wave film, Truffaut's Jules and Jim.

I met with a Parisian this past week and this was the episode she talked about the most. Mention Sartre, mention Truffaut, mention Existentialism and you too can be Parisian. 

Okay, not really.  

My American expat friends living in Paris also complain about the show. They're the ones who have made a home for themselves in Paris for the last ten, twenty, thirty years. And it hasn't been easy or fun or fabulous or frothy. It's been hard.

They are the ones who fell in love with the idea of Paris during their first French class in seventh grade. Or perhaps it was while watching Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron dance in American in Paris. Then again, they could have fallen under the spell during that Truffaut festival. These Americans practiced the idea of becoming French by wearing a beret and smoking cigarettes on the sly, away from the critical gaze of their parents.

And finally, they saved up their Shekels, donned their rose colored glasses and moved to Paris. 

Bonjour Paris!

Only, it was nothing like Emily in Paris. They wrangled with the bureaucracy and the money and the gritty suburbs. The French did not embrace them with open arms. In fact, as it turns out, the Parisians have their own friends and are wary of Americans who arrive, breathless and naive.

The hard truth is this--even after fifty years, we will always be considered a newcomer, even a tourist.

When you leave your homeland and go someplace new you are confronted with the basic truth of life. And that is that we are all tourists. Wherever we go, we're just visiting. In truth, you can live in the same house for your entire life and you are still a tourist. This is an existential truth.

Creative Friends--your assignment for this week is to look around at where you are living right now. Really look around. What makes you different from the natives? How are you the same? How might you learn their language? Their customs? Consider the people living in the place you find yourself as a generous hostess who has offered you a place at her table. Open your heart to this time and place. Engrave this moment on your heart, without sentimentality, but with love and kindness and the knowledge that nothing lasts forever.